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Lost Hiker Found In The Enthusiasm Gap |
Man Rescued after Four Weeks in Gigantic Chasm between Obama and McCain
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| Rescuers organize to search for McClellan in the enormous chasm of enthusiasm between Senators Obama and McCain. |
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More than two weeks after his disappearance, lost hiker Darrel McClellan was reunited with his relieved family. McClellan became separated from a group of hikers in The Enthusiasm Gap, a relatively new geological feature created by the difference in excitement for presidential nominees Senators Barack Obama and John McCain.
McClellan was treated for mild dehydration and malnutrition overnight, then released by his doctors. "I'm feeling fine -- just glad to be safe again. I hope that my mistake serves as a lesson to other people -- The Enthusiasm Gap is huge beyond measure and it's an easy place to get lost, no matter your level of training," said McClellan. A professional backpacking guide, McClellan was himself surprised at the size of The Gap. "People are just so much more willing and happy to vote for Barack Obama than John McCain. I knew The Gap was big. I just didn't know how big."
Tom Gibbons of the United States Geological Survey described The Enthusiasm Gap as "an unimaginably large and ever-widening chasm, as deep and unknown as any place on the planet. It is the most geologically dynamic area I've ever studied or heard of. The extraorinarily immense geomorphic processes at work are both terrible and wonderful to behold. This hiker was extremely fortunate to make it out alive." The incredible proportions and the speed with which the Gap is growing has given some geoscientists reason to celebrate. "We've simply never seen anything like this," said Gibbons, then excitedly added, "and I think that Barack Obama is going to be our next president!"
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| Obama reminds a really big group of people to be mindful of the dangers of such a huge gap. |
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Beatlemania, Elvis-Mania Topped; Hillary Clinton Promotes New Book 'The Audacity of Audacity'
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Guiness Reports New Record for Mania |
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| An Obama supporter shows his excitement about Senator Obama's run for president. |
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The Guiness Book of World Records announced today that Obamania, the incredible enthusiasm surrounding the presidential candidacy of Senator Barack Obama, has set a new record for mania, surpassing the high mark set by Beatlemania during the "British Invasion" of the mid-1960s.
Carl Bingsley, a professor at Cornell University's College of Records and Unsurpassed Measurements, said that experts began predicting the new record months ago. "This trend has been consistently building for quite some time. There was, however, a large spike after Wyoming and Mississippi," Bingsley said. Though most experts believed a new mania record was inevitable, many thought that the record would not be broken for several more months However, the primary victories in Wyoming and Mississippi, the caucus win in Texas and the recent news that Obama had received even more delegates from California and Iowa caused Obamania to reach what Bingsley calls "fever pitch."
Other notable mania records surpassed are Elvismania, Slap Bracelet-Mania, and those-little-cardboard-and-plastic-disks-that-kids-collected-for-a-while-(I-never-understood-the-point-of-those-things)-mania.
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| Senator Clinton seen here at a book signing/campaign event. |
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Clinton Campaigns, Promotes New Book in Pennsylvania
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Senator Hillary Clinton has spent the last several days crisscrossing Pennsylvania, drumming up support for her presidential bid as well as her new book, "The Audacity of Audacity." The book's publisher, HarperCollins, describes the book as, "the story of one person's quest to do whatever she could."
Clinton described the book, originally titled "Yes, I Can!" as an homage to "the temerity it takes to really have complete impertinence in this day and age." Later, she added, "I've learned a lot during the last month of this campaign. While reckless and rash chutzpah may be out of fashion for some, I find it to be its own reward." |
Obama Wins Ten States In A Row And Abroad Vote |
Little League Coaches Call For 'Mercy Rule'
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| LLCA President Timothy Garnett today said the primary has been "getting pretty tough to watch." |
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| Today, the Little League Coach's Association, or LLCA, called for the "mercy rule" to be put into effect for the democratic presidential primary. LLCA President Timothy Garnett called on the Democratic National Party to impose the rule after Senator Barack Obama defeated Senator Hillary Clinton in every contest in ten states throughout the country and then picked up the votes of Democrats Abroad.
"Generally, this rule isn't applied for this sort of contest, but we at the LLCA felt we had to speak up. I haven't seen anything this bad since Bob's Furniture Depot Tigers played the Northside Grille Eagles," said Garnettt. He then added, "With Senator Obama being the Northside Grille Eagles, of course."
The "mercy rule," or "skunk rule" is a rule that is sometimes used when one team has a very large and presumably insurmountable lead over the other team. In Little League baseball, a game will often be called if there are 10 runs in one inning. Garnett pointed out that the rule is sometimes used in contests other than baseball, "like in slow pitch softball, and also in fast pitch softball." |
S u p e r T u e s d a y S p e c i a l C o v e r a g e
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Senator Obama Receives Endorsements of Celebrities, Politicians, Nation
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Senator Obama Picks Up 'Key' Endorsement of United States
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| Obama is inundated with questions about the endorsemetns he has recently received. |
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In the days leading up to Super Tuesday, Senator Barack Obama received endorsements from a truly staggering number of prominent figures in our society. High-profile politicians, actors, musicians, military leaders and academics have thrown their support behind Senator Obama. Caroline Kennedy, Senator Ted Kennedy, Oprah Winfrey, Maria Shriver, Robert DeNiro, Claire McCaskill and Bill Bradley are some of the high-profile supporters who are now actively campaigning for Obama.
Once the votes were finally counted after Super Tuesday, Obama also received the endorsement of The United States of America. The Obama campaign was elated, but not surprised by The United States' endorsement. A campaign spokesperson from the Obama campaign said they expected America to back Senator Obama. Obama won thirteen states across the nation to receive its endorsement.
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| Clinton now denies that he considered endorsing Obama. |
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Bill Clinton Denies That He Considered Endorsing Obama |
Former President Bill Clinton today denied allegations that he had considered formally endorsing Senator Barack Obama of Illinois, rather than the former president's wife, Senator Hillary Clinton.
Last week, The Washington Post ran an article that alleged that Bill Clinton had contacted the Obama campaign about lending his political support to Senator Obama. Clinton suggested that in exchange for his endorsement, he would be allowed to, as Former President Clinton put it, "just crash in The Lincoln Bedroom," once Obama was elected president. Clinton added, "You won't even know I'm there." The Obama campaign respectfully declined Clinton's offer.
Former President Clinton has very publicly called these allegations "a fairy tale."
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Obama Wins By Hugenormous Margin
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Country Reacts to Sheer Gigantitude of Victory in South Carolina; Clintons Make Rezko Sandwich
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| Obama seen here on the way to ginormously hugemongous win in South Carolina. |
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In a huge, gigantic and enormous victory tonight, Senator Barack Obama won the South Carolina primary by more than a 2-1 margin over Senator Hillary Clinton. Members of the media and citizens alike were thrilled and amazed by the end result of the contest. Tim Russert, Washington Bureau Chief for NBC News, called this contest, "Frankly, the biggest damn win I've ever seen."
Most experts are attributing this hugenormous victory to a sea change in American politics. As CNN anchor Wolf Blitzer put it, "It seems people all over the country are sick and tired of divisive politics, and ready to move on into the future. . . I mean, did you see that win? . . So big." Blitzer then trailed off, muttering to himself about the beauty of Obama's acceptance speech.
Brit Hume of Fox News said that the ridiculously large win "may be even historical-er than the victory in Iowa."
The gigantitude of Obama's victory stands in stark contrast to the state of the Clinton campaign, which today was dealt a blow after a picture surfaced of Bill and Hillary Clinton hugging Tony Rezko, a man Hillary Clinton called, "a slum landlord."
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| Bill and Hillary Clinton seen here making a delicious Rezko sandwich. |
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Obama Nearly Pulls Off World's Greatest Upset Ever |
Polls Projecting Obama Would Win 350% of Vote Now Deemed Incorrect
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Members of the national media were shocked yesterday to find that Senator Barack Obama did not pull off the world's biggest upset of all time, despite the fact that they predicted that he would. Tuesday night, Senator Obama received slightly fewer votes than Senator Hillary Clinton in New Hampshire's Democratic primary.
News anchor Chris Matthews summed up the feelings of many newspeople when he said, "I don't get it. I totally thought he was going to pull off the world's greatest upset of all time. I mean, we said it was going to happen. Obama pulling off the world's biggest upset ever just seemed so likely."
Despite the fact that Hillary Clinton led there in the polls for the last year, due to her longtime political connections in the state, pollsters began to show late that Senator Obama could win the primary. In the excitement, some pollsters even predicted a sweeping win for Obama, such as CNN's Bill Schneider, who said Obama "could possibly win by as much as a trillion votes, give or take a few." After the results of the primary were official, Schneider admitted that there "probably aren't a trillion people in New Hampshire."
Pollsters are now giving various reasons that Obama just barely did not pull off the world's most stupendous upset ever. There were a number of specific demographic groups which made a significant difference in the race. "For instance," as Schneider said, "a little known fact is that ninety-three percent of New Hampshire's population is made up of women. Also, just before voting about fifty-seven percent of the state had just gotten though watching 'The Bridges of Madison County'. Both of these factors helped Senator Clinton."
Obama campaign staffer Melanie Richards said, "I suppose pulling off the most unlikely and impossible upset that the world has ever seen would have been nice, but I guess we'll just have to be happy with this huge, historic and terribly encouraging vote." |
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| Senator Obama is congratulated for his historic finish in New Hampshire. |
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| Always a gracious winner, Obama congratulates Clinton after the New Hampshire Democratic debate. |
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Obama Gets Almost All the Votes in Iowa |
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| Obama delivers his speech of contagious and undeniable goodness and hope. |
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In what is already regarded as a moment of great import, last night Barack Obama won the Iowa Democratic caucus, the first race of the primary season, in convincing fashion, sending an irresistable wave of goodness throughout the world entire.
Former senator and second place finisher, John Edwards said, "Tonight. . . the status quo lost and change won."
Daniel Fitzsimmons, a first-time Iowa caucus-goer, was also very impressed by the excitement surrounding Obama's campaign. "Seriously, he got all but, like. . . six of the votes." Fitzsimmons said and then added, "Or something."
The excitement was also evident to those not in Iowa. Even the seasoned press corps could not help but be impressed with the general sense of goodness coming out of Iowa. Bill Bennett, the conservative strategist and pundit, has now said that, in the light of Obama's win, he is considering once again becoming a democrat. Democratic strategist David Gergen briefly broke into a spontaneouly composed and teary-eyed song extolling the virtues of an Obama presidency. In the spirit of the win, Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein have decided to get back together and write a book about something. "Probably something real important," Woodward added.
Word of the victory and the stirring subsequent speech has even reached beyond human ears. After hearing the news, representatives from both cats and dogs have expressed interest in, as one senior dog official put it, "just, you know, getting along."
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| Obama spreads his unrivaled and supreme sense of optimism and enthusiasm. |
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Obama Girl Joins Forces With Obama is Good! |
News of Alliance Sends Shock Waves Though American Political System
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The exceptionally intelligent and beautiful Amber Lee Ettinger, also known as Obama Girl, is bringing her amazing star power to Obama is Good! in what some political analysts are calling the most powerful duo "since Antony and Cleopatra." Said Shepherd Smith, anchor for Fox News, "This quite obviously represents a sea change in American politics -- the fact that two such huglely powerful figures on the political scene can come together to support a single candidate. This speaks to the hope and sense of unity that the senator from Illinois has given the American people."
The academic elite around the nation is also weighing in. Pulitzer Prize winning writer and historian David McCullough said, "the conception of this partnership will very soon be seen as a pivotal moment in the historical progress of American politics."
Nobel laureate and chemist Gerhard Ertl sees the alliance as even more elementally significant. "This is sort of like when hydrogen and oxygen decided to get together and make water," said Ertl.
To see more from Obama girl visit http://www.barelypolitical.com. |
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| Obama Girl rocks the Navy OIG! shirt. |
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Senator Obama Takes Names |
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| Obama Gets Tough! |
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Barack Obama brings new ideas to aid in the fight against terror.
-- Senator Obama gets Tough on Terrorism --
Barack wants Pakistan to step up its fight on terrorism. He calls out President Musharraf.
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OIG! Supporter Gets Mad Props from Kevin Smith |
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Film Maker Nervously Asks For Photograph |
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| Kevin Smith seen here with OIG! enthusiast Brad Baudot. |
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Obama is Good! enthusiast and supporter, Brad Baudot recently crossed paths with film maker Kevin Smith. Smith, the director of "Clerks" and the more recent and much worse, "Jersey Girl," was very excited to meet Baudot and asked if he could have a picture of them together. Jennifer Smith, Kevin's wife, was quoted as saying that she "really liked" Brad's shirt. She then added, "I do not, however, really like Kevin's shirt. Why does he have to have his name on all his clothes?" |
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George Washington Endorses Obama |
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Nation's First President Gives Full Support to Senator from Illinois |
First President and American hero George Washington today called a press conference at his home in Mount Vernon, Virginia to officially endorse Senator Barack Obama for the office of President. Washington's endorsement of Obama hardly comes as a surprise to most political analysts.
Washington, who gave the announcement from the front porch of his stately manor, said, "Look, I'm sure you already know this but, you should listen to your friend, Barack Obama. He's a cool dude. He's trying to help you out." When asked why he chose the young senator from Illinois, Washington said, "The other candidates are fine and good, but I believe that Senator has the leadership to bring this country together. And I should know about keeping things together. Helloooo? Valley Forge, anyone?"
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| Washington, for whom our nation capital is named, was also our first president. |
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Experts Call Burn 'Complete' and 'Total' |
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| Barack Obama, seen here spitting fiery truth. |
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Calling her new Iraq plan "convoluted," Senator Barack Obama today continues to challenge Senator Hillary Clinton's leadership quality. "Being a leader means that you'd better do what's right and leave the politics aside, because there are no do-overs on an issue as important as war," said Obama.
Experts across the country are calling Senator Obama's remarks a serious burn. Dr. Philip Westinghouse, a professor of English literature at the University of California at Berkeley, explains the inner workings of a burn. "In this case Senator Obama burned Senator Clinton. Senator Obama was the one doing the burning, and Senator Clinton was the one getting burned. A burn is not a terribly uncommon phenomenon. However, the degree is what makes this particular burn so significant," said Dr. Westinghouse.
As Dr. Noam Chomsky, world famous sociolinguist at the Massechusetts Institue of Technology and political activist, said, "That is what we in this field of study refer to as an 'old school burn' or a 'complete burn,' as in 'Senator Clinton just got old school burned' or 'Senator Clinton just received a third degree burn.' There are truly countless variations on this theme."
Obama has not backed down. He stands by his decision to talk to the leaders of Iran, Cuba, and North Korea. Senator Obama recently quoted former young presidential hopeful, John Kennedy: "Let us never negotiate out of fear, but let us never fear to negotiate." Upon hearing that remark, Dr. Chomsky added, "Snap." |
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| Hillary Clinton, seen here spitting what is, in all likelihood, not fiery truth. |
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New Poll Finds Obama to be Full of Presidentialfulness |
Today, yet another among a seemingly endless list of polls finds that Americans see Senator Barack Obama of Illinois as extremely presidential. After spending months with focus groups and polling numbers, pollster for Fox News, Frank Luntz, declared that people all around America see Senator Obama as "full of presidentialfulness." Asked whether or not that was a real word, Luntz said, "Folks from all over can agree that Barack puts off a presidential vibe. This inexhaustable litany of polls keeps coming back with the same results -- Senator Obama is the most genuine of the candidates and understands the issues afftecting most Americans."
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| Obama seen here exhibiting his presidentiality. |
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Our Little Disclaimer
We at "Obama is Good!" are not employed by Senator Obama or Obama for America. We do not receive funds from either source. Our only income comes from tee shirt sales, but we don't really make money on the shirts. We are acting completely independently of Senator Obama and his presidential campaign (but we're fairly sure that Senator Obama checks our site for daily updates).
We are just a bunch of kids who have taken it upon ourselves to channel the considerable enthusiasm surrounding Senator Obama and have a little fun, too. He is an accomplished and capable leader who has a bright future and a message of hope. So join in and help us get the word out about Barack Obama! Look, we're not satisfied with the way our country is being run, but together we can do something about it. Let's get progressive and let's get vocal... the future of the country is in our hands.
Co-Webmasters: Greg Moser - gmoser1@gmail.com
Gabe Harvey - gabriel.harvey@gmail.com
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| Hi, My name is Greg Moser. |
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| Hi, I am Gabriel Harvey. |
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